“Help is on the way, Dear. Help is on the WAYYYYY!”                                                      — Mrs. Doubtfire

Here at The Dead Company Club, we mourn the passing of your former company, be it Land of Leather or Lehman Brothers. If you’ve rebounded and can be philosophical about the experience, that’s awesome. If you think I’m full of it for even suggesting such a state of mind is possible, read on.

Being out of work involuntarily isn’t fun, even if there are lots of others in your ‘hood mowing the grass mid-morning. So stop refreshing your inbox, click over to ILostMyJob.com and let them help. They are there to stabilize, restore and ready you to resume your career or start a new one.

ILostMyJob.com offers suggestions, directions, consultations and useful advice.  “Our mission is to do good for people who have lost their jobs, are involuntarily unemployed, and/or are taking steps to getting back to productive employment.”

Their content is a must-bookmark if you’re working on a full-time job search (Is there any other kind?).  For instance, if you’re timid about salary negotiations, you might want to read their article first before you follow our example of a job counteroffer.

Have you found other job-seeker sites that are worthy of mention?

Laurie Phillips writes for and about businesses. She specializes in all kinds of stuff.

Thanks to our fun foto provider, gruntzooki at flikr.com.

Post from: The Dead Company Club The Dead Company Club is a hobby of the writers at Sundance Research. Sometimes they just need to write about their own stuff.

Ready to Resume Your Career?

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Insiders’ Interview Tips

Going for an interview? Then “True Confessions of a Recruiter,” by Connie Thanasoulis-Cerrachio is a must-read. Connie, a former Fortune 500 recruiter, confesses how she weeds out candidates starting the first second she sees them.

No Debby Downers

As a Dead Company Club member you have unique experiences that can be booby traps in an interview.  Watch out for the invitation to complain about how your company failed, how employees got screwed and how bad your life got.  Even though you may have a strong opinion about who is to blame, hold that thought. According to Connie, “anything negative will immediately shift me to the next candidate.”

Do you know your strengths?

Rolling your eyes isn’t an answer to the question, “Tell me about your strengths.” Recruiters expect a thoughtful, serious answer, and you have something unique to offer.

Remember: you’ve been through the fire. When your company died, your assumptions and plans blew up. You had to start over, maybe reeducate, possibly relocate.  You discovered you can march through dramatic changes. You’re more aware of risks and appreciate contingency planning now. Your expectations of an employer have changed. Non-members can’t offer these strengths.

Seeing the good in your hard-won experience — and not whining — might be what wins the job.

Laurie Phillips writes for and about businesses. She is a multi-time member of The Dead Company Club.

cool photo courtesy of flikr.com/emilio_labrador

Post from: The Dead Company Club The Dead Company Club is a hobby of the writers at Sundance Research. Sometimes they just need to write about their own stuff.

Interview Tips for Club Members

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U.S. Army Staff Sgt. Alton Jefferson and Sgts. Ronald Williams and Jeremy Squires, all from Bravo Company, 173rd Special Troops Battalion, conduct final checks on a Shadow Unmanned Aerial Vehicle (UAV) on Forward Operating Base Fenty in Jalalabad, Afghanistan, March 17, 2008, prior to its launch. A UAV is used to track enemy activity. (U.S. Army photo by Staff Sgt. Tyffani L. Davis) (www.army.mil)

Manufacturing experts wanted

5th in a series about What Matters Now

Looking for a job in manufacturing or design?  Hold up. Make sure you understand the stampeding herd that is threatening the industry.  But first, let’s talk about your hobbies.

Break time

Let’s say you love planes and want to resume flying lessons as soon as you have a secure paycheck. In the meantime, you kill time online with other airplane nuts and post some design questions for a remote-control plane.

The engineer types and experienced fliers give you plenty of advice on your design, send you links to inexpensive electronics and tweet a rousing brainstorm to come up with new things you can do with your plane. They also tell you where you can get a prototype made, dirt cheap.

The job market still stinks and you’re getting tired of spending all day at the screen, so you order the prototype and add the electronics when it arrives from China a week later. You take it out to the dusty field nearby and let it loose. With the camera and GPS onboard, your little drone flies over the countryside taking snapshots and filming the flight while you control your recon mission with your iPhone. Fun, huh? Who needs Northrop Grumman?

Back to work

OK, back to that manufacturing job. Here are a few facts you need to know:

1. You no longer need a big employer to do design and manufacturing. Collaborative design, open-source components and micro-manufacturing put control in your hands, if you want it.

2. That big company becomes more vulnerable every day as barriers to entry keep falling, and they can’t staunch the tide. Do your homework before you sign on.

More about that UAV

Chris Andersen, Editor in Chief of Wired Magazine, is a firm believer that the web is transforming manufacturing. He should know. He founded DIY Drones and has been spreading the message about DIY manufacturing. Here’s a short video about his experiment building drones and interacting with the U.S. Government – unintentionally – as a result.

The longer video of the entire presentation by Chris is fascinating. It includes the tale of his tangle with the U.S. Government at Lawrence Berkeley Laboratory and a gleeful story about how he busted Google. Great stuff and well worth the 20+ minutes to watch.

If you want to catch up on the trends affecting the working world and society, read the eBook, What Matters Now. It might just be the smartest thing you can do for yourself this year as a survivor of corporate destruction.

Laurie Phillips is a snow-bound freelance writer with cabin fever.

Post from: The Dead Company Club The Dead Company Club is a hobby of the writers at Sundance Research. Sometimes they just need to write about their own stuff.

Manufacturing Your New Job

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“What Matters Now” is what matters

Second of a series

I want to be fearless. Apparently I’m not the only one. In the new eBook, “What Matters Now,” there are plenty of mini-essays that talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and taking a new direction. And what better time to consider it than when you’ve been involuntarily canned?

In a short article appropriately titled, “Fear,” Anne Jackson writes:

“We’re often impressed by those who appear to be fearless. The people who fly to the moon. Chase tornadoes. Enter dangerous war zones. Skydive. Speak in front of thousands of people.”

I bet you’re also impressed by people who start a business that becomes successful, ferret out an unbelievable new job with a whopping promotion or ditch their former career in favor of something they’ve always wanted to do.

Do you ever think, “I could do it too,” but your Inner Censor wakes up and kicks your dreams down the sewer?

Maybe you’re short on savings or have no household income. Or you don’t have expert qualifications. Maybe you’re highly qualified but still feel the sting of your company’s collapse and are afraid to go for it. The Censor says, “Be mature! You can’t risk spending money to go to that conference/take that class/buy that company in this economy,” or “You have too much to learn, you’ll never catch up.” It may just echo, “Oh, grow up!” The Censor always ends with, “Take the safe road.”

Stop right here. Reread Anne’s quote. Those people who fly to the moon, skydive or capture a immense following are just like you. Except they didn’t take the safe road. They were afraid. They knew they were taking a substantial risk, maybe even putting their lives on the line. They chose to walk through their fear.

Could our heros have ignored their passion and done something safer? Absolutely. Would they have been satisfied? Perhaps. But here’s what I’ve found: If you have a dream and ignore it – even for good reasons – it will haunt you. It will be that little voice that nags, “Is this what I really want to do?” with every job opportunity. That dream will demand attention, and you will spend a lot of energy suppressing it.

Anne ends her essay with this:

“Until Fear is gone, (and realize he may never completely leave) make the decision to be courageous. The world needs your story in order to be complete.”

You can swallow hard and become fearless. You can also decide to be afraid. What’s your choice today?

Laurie Phillips is a freelance writer and motorcyclist. She has done the motorcycle stunt above by accident while pursuing one of her passions. It was worth it.

Photo courtesy of flicker.com/pdbreen

Post from: The Dead Company Club The Dead Company Club is a hobby of the writers at Sundance Research. Sometimes they just need to write about their own stuff.

What Matters Now: Be fearless

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“What Matters Now” is what matters now

First of a series

Yesterday I wrote that the new eBook, “What Matters Now” is a must-read for business people, especially anyone who has recently been ejected from a long-term job.

I was wrong.  Anyone should read it who wants to be in the know about what direction the world is taking and what they should be doing about it. In a new series I’m going to highlight several points that the book rams home. Not to detract from reading it, but to share what I think are some radical shifts from traditional thinking.

Let’s take advertising and marketing. One essay is titled “Attention”. It begins:

“You can buy attention (advertising).
You can beg for attention from the media (public relations).
You can bug people one at a time to get attention (sales).

Or you can earn attention by creating something interesting and valuable and then publishing it on line for free: a YouTube video, a blog, a research report, photos, a Twitter stream, an ebook, a Facebook page.”

Does this work? Isn’t it a threat to your hard-earned, valuable expertise? You be the judge.

Let’s say you’re looking for a job. Everyone knows what a challenge that is right now, so you decide to set up a blog that highlights your experience. You do a little reading and find out you should use lots of key words to make sure people will find your site. But you don’t know how to set up a blog and you don’t want to become a web designer. Still, you want it done fast and without spending a lot.

Take a look at Johnny Truant. Johnny will set up a blog for you for free. When you’re ready to do more, Johnny can be your “virtual assistant,” helping you enhance your blog remotely or providing extensive online training materials. He charges for these services. Would I hire him to do the expert stuff needed to make my blog a success? You bet.

Johnny makes money by selling his services, but he attracts customers by giving his services away. This is the new advertising. Set aside your old biases and provide value for free. You’ll get far more in return.

Laurie Phillips is a freelance writer and a member of The Dead Company Club.

Post from: The Dead Company Club The Dead Company Club is a hobby of the writers at Sundance Research. Sometimes they just need to write about their own stuff.

What Matters Now: Advertise by giving it away

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“‘Tis dogs’ delight to bark and bite,” thus does the adage run. But I delight to bite the dog when placed inside a bun.”                                                                                                                                                                                                           – the Yale Review, 1895

“Lets open a hotdog stand downtown,” said a friend one day as we surveyed the park from the unemployed bench. I frowned. Hotdogs were not part of my plan for corporate re-entry. I had haunted job boards, pestered my network of recruiters and former colleagues, and chased well-dressed business people cutting through the park on their way to somewhere important. I would rise again. I had no intention of heaving my accomplishments aside and starting over.

New possibilities

But my long-slumbering brain stirred. I wouldn’t really be selling hotdogs – I’d be in the consumer products business. I’d write a business plan, hire some operators and apply my marketing tricks. As soon as I had the formula down, I’d open more stands. Voila.

Suddenly the cloud darkening my future lifted. I didn’t have to work with very important people at very large companies to be a success. I never imagined that my business school classes about forming Newco would be useful, but I was glad to be wrong. All I needed was to lighten up – and open up – to new possibilities.

Two steps to rewriting your future

Alternate careers are not an admission of defeat. There are plenty of stories about people who made a change successfully, such as the investment banker turned baking instructor. Talk to your former colleagues. You might be surprised at how many are asking themselves whether they should consider a drastic change. Do some communal brainstorming and let your ideas get wild and crazy.

Next, take the list home and chew on it. Come up with a reason NOT to do each thing before you discard it. You’ll benefit even if you choose to continue in your former career because, very simply, creative thinking changes how you feel. It replaces those crappy, insecure, unemployed feelings with momentary freedom. And who knows: maybe you’ll become the next Wiener Wonder.

Laurie Phillips does not own or operate a hotdog stand but she does write business plans for those that want to do so.

Post from: The Dead Company Club The Dead Company Club is a hobby of the writers at Sundance Research. Sometimes they just need to write about their own stuff.

New Careers for Old Dogs

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“Success is not built on success. It’s built on failure. It’s built on frustration. Sometimes it’s built on catastrophe.”

-Sumner Redstone, majority owner of CBS, Viacom, MTV Network, Paramount Pictures and DreamWorks studios

I was taught that there are winners and losers. You didn’t hear any of that sissy “Everybody’s a winner, Sweetie!” nonsense in my ‘hood. We kept score during our games.

Our job search winners are…

In that spirit I am announcing the winners of the Corporate Reemployment Awards Program (CRAP). They all came from organizations that failed or otherwise died of natural causes. They experienced the same fears and feelings as the rest of us who found ourselves treading water in a crowded sea of unemployment. Some accepted the challenge and vaulted to greater success, showing character that really shines. Others failed spectacularly. So without further ado, here’s the list.

Winner, Biggest Leap Up The Ladder: Chad Fulgham, formerly of Lehman Brothers, now the CIO of the FBI.

Winner, Most Challenging Career Change: Andy Neff, former Senior Managing Director at Bear Sterns, now full time student of the Torah. Says Andy, “Is this comfortable? No, it’s really not comfortable, it’s disorienting,” but I find it unfortunate that people tend to focus on how much they lost. Coming out of every situation, you need to focus on what you have, not on what you lost.” Amen, Brother.

Winner, Most Reformed: David Walker, former partner at Arthur Andersen who became the Comptroller General of the United States. He subsequently resigned over the “declining moral values” within the U.S. Government which, ironically, is who shut down Arthur Andersen for their accounting ethics.

Winner, Most Dramatic Career Change: Taria Reed, former Enron employee turned Playboy model. Taria’s acceptance speech: “It was personal for me, empowering (and) gave me a little bit of self-assuredness.” Taria gives new meaning to “getting back on your feet.”

Winner, Most Publicly Humiliating Rebound Job: Alberto Gonzales, former Bush Administration U.S. Attorney General, now the professor of a single political science course at Texas Tech University. Gonzales, the most powerful lawyer in the US, said he was “unable to interest law firms in adding his name to their roster.”

Winner, Biggest Loser: Rebecca Mark, former CEO of Enron International, now isolating on her Ranch in New Mexico. “Just say that I’m sitting out here watching the elk migrate across the mesa and raising my cattle.”

Winner of The Job We All Want: He’s only known as “John S.” and he says “I make a little less money, work less, have less work-related stress, great benefits and enjoy my work like never before.” Read more at Alison’s Job Searching Blog.

Do you know someone who should be nominated for our next round of awards?

Post from: The Dead Company Club The Dead Company Club is a hobby of the writers at Sundance Research. Sometimes they just need to write about their own stuff.

New Job Award Winners

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“Artificial Intelligence usually beats real stupidity.”

Do you sound silly because you’ve fallen into the bad habit of business speak? You may have absorbed some fancy boardroom gibberish at your last job and are propagating it unknowingly in your resume, interviews, or even worse, at home. As a public service, take this short self-evaluation.

1. Do you want to ping someone?

“Ping” is an ancient computer command known only to super geeks in which computers check up on each other. It pre-dates Windows and Macs. Like a bad dream about my computer programming days, I started hearing it replace “talk,” “email,” and “instant message.” There’s no human communication in a ping. Have people become completely depersonalized? Well…

2. Do you refer to people as “resources?”

Since when did “resources” replace people? At work you’re understood when you say, “How many resources are you going to lay off this week?” At home you might not get the desired result when you say “I need two resources to help me pick up the rabbit corpse.” What you’re probably going to get is a shovel and an empty box, not volunteers.

3. Has your data has been impacted?

A literate friend was kind enough to point out that teeth and colons can be impacted. Data can not be impacted, nor can resources. Affected? Yes. Which image do you prefer?

4. Do think there’s a “value add” when a doctor moves into the neighborhood?

You’re really sick if you use this one.

5. Have you run out of bandwidth to keep up with all the job boards?

Huh? Are you a computer cable?

You might think business buzzwords make you sound professional, experienced and wise. Stakeholder. Downstream. Synergy. Sorry, but you’re adopting artificial, 8-cylinder words and ignoring the proven effectiveness of simple everyday English. Is it easier to listen to someone pontificate about the synergy of a deal, for instance, when what they’re really talking about are the benefits?

There is a solution.

Rehabilitation isn’t painful. A software utility called “Bullfighter” (www.fightthebull.com) is an add-on to Microsoft Word that busts you for using business jargon, providing very funny reasons why you’re amiss. For instance, Bullfighter will tell you that a “stakeholder” is “person with a spear in hand.” The program also suggests alternatives. “Bandwidth” can be replaced with “time” or “capacity”.

Bullfighter is free. It saves you from sounding silly, and can also provide hours of amusement by running it on some of your old, prized work product (bull for “documents”).

I used to play Business Bullshit Bingo with a colleague. When we were on conference calls we’d text BINGO! when someone used five of these words.  So if you sound like a fresh MBA trying to impress in the boardroom, take this opportunity to retrain. Let the business bull die with the company. Someone may be playing “bingo” when you’re talking.

Laurie Phillips is only partly rehabilitated but her bull quotient stays in control as long as she gets lots of fresh air.

Post from: The Dead Company Club The Dead Company Club is a hobby of the writers at Sundance Research. Sometimes they just need to write about their own stuff.

Cut the Bull and Polish Your Image

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Dear Sirs:

Thank you for your recent job offer. You’ll enjoy my direct, no-nonsense approach to my work beginning right now. My experience with my previous employer’s collapse compels me to ask a few quick questions about your business to qualify your offer.

1. Is your accounting department encouraged to be “creative?”

2. Have you stolen company or client funds in the last 24 months? How about the last 48 months?

3. Are you shorting your own stock? This is similar to short-sheeting your employees.

If your company folds – highly unlikely I’m sure – or is acquired on the cheap by a hostile competitor with a bad attitude toward redundant employees, I’ll need some assurances.  I’d like to have a prenuptial agreement of sorts to cover the situations I’ve experienced when my former employer failed. The agreement should include:

1. Health Insurance: You will pay all health insurance premiums and out of pocket costs if you leave me stranded. Let’s face it: COBRA is a little silly. If I took the job for the benefits, how am I going to pay for the benefits if I lose the job?

2. College Expenses: College costs are covered for all children conceived during my employment, as well as future children where I fantasized about the conception process while I was employed.

3. Ex-Employee Assistance Program: Therapy – for me, the family and pets – is provided for life.

4. Standard of Living Clause: I will have unlimited, paid use of the corporate credit card for 12 months after I lose my job. Studies prove its unproductive to buy groceries using Monopoly money.

5. Sociopath Prevention: Through the corporate travel agency, you will guarantee an all-expense-paid vacation as part of the severance package.  It’ll help keep me from planning retaliation.

It’s risky to take a corporate job right now. Since I’m a little gun-shy, a little more salary might sweeten the pot. Another 25% should do it.

I look forward to your reply and updated offer.

Sincerely,

Impish O’Flannagan

P.S. Please CC: my attorneys, Ketchum, Guttim and Eatem, on your response.

Post from: The Dead Company Club The Dead Company Club is a hobby of the writers at Sundance Research. Sometimes they just need to write about their own stuff.

Job counteroffer? Why not?

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I hadn’t planned on writing a resume ever again, even after my company died. With my background and contacts I expected my choice of interviews, a warm reception, and eager offers.

Dumb. I waited for employers to call. I didn’t acknowledge that the market was saturated with job seekers at all levels. Demand faded after the first wave of hiring. I’d missed my chance.

Reluctantly I sat down and wrote a long, detailed resume. It was beautifully laid out, full of buzz words and well-known client names. There were impressive facts and figures to quantify my successes. I delivered it to executive placement firms, sent it to a few well-placed contacts, and posted it online.

Hotter Than Expected

The responses I got blew me away. Employers responded to my resume with:

Discrimination. There was no way they could hire someone who had been steeped in the tainted culture of my former company. By association, I must be corrupt too.

Curiosity. I interviewed with two firms who focused their questions on what had really happened at my former company. There weren’t any open positions. They just wanted the inside scoop. Pathetic.

Taunting. “Now you’re asking me for a job when you wouldn’t hire me before. What a small world.”

Paranoia.  Some potential employers expressed vague fears about credibility problems that might plague them – and me – if they brought me on.

Disbelief. “Why would you want this job?” Well, because the recruiter told me it was an opportunity to create something bigger than its title. Plus I needed it.

Opportunism. Three employers made lowball offers, trying to hire me at less than the going rate because I must be desperate.

In short, my resume was radioactive. Some ran from it, some couldn’t help but stare, and others wanted to figure out how to take advantage of it. It gradually leeched my self-esteem until I stopped sending the damn thing out.

The Decontamination Process

I torched my “personal brochure” and wrote a real resume. I eliminated the details and used a standard layout so it looked like everyone else’s. I also set some ground rules with head hunters and asked more questions before scheduling interviews. And I accepted that there would still be fallout. I had to shrink my ego, toughen up, and accept my circumstances. I didn’t like it, but now I appreciate how hard it is to keep your self-esteem intact when you find yourself looking for a job involuntarily.

What experiences did you have when you submitted your resume?

Post from: The Dead Company Club The Dead Company Club is a hobby of the writers at Sundance Research. Sometimes they just need to write about their own stuff.

The Radioactive Resume

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