The Dead Company Club

“Success is not built on success. It’s built on failure. It’s built on frustration. Sometimes it’s built on catastrophe.”

-Sumner Redstone, majority owner of CBS, Viacom, MTV Network, Paramount Pictures and DreamWorks studios

I was taught that there are winners and losers. You didn’t hear any of that sissy “Everybody’s a winner, Sweetie!” nonsense in my ‘hood. We kept score during our games.

Our job search winners are…

In that spirit I am announcing the winners of the Corporate Reemployment Awards Program (CRAP). They all came from organizations that failed or otherwise died of natural causes. They experienced the same fears and feelings as the rest of us who found ourselves treading water in a crowded sea of unemployment. Some accepted the challenge and vaulted to greater success, showing character that really shines. Others failed spectacularly. So without further ado, here’s the list.

Winner, Biggest Leap Up The Ladder: Chad Fulgham, formerly of Lehman Brothers, now the CIO of the FBI.

Winner, Most Challenging Career Change: Andy Neff, former Senior Managing Director at Bear Sterns, now full time student of the Torah. Says Andy, “Is this comfortable? No, it’s really not comfortable, it’s disorienting,” but I find it unfortunate that people tend to focus on how much they lost. Coming out of every situation, you need to focus on what you have, not on what you lost.” Amen, Brother.

Winner, Most Reformed: David Walker, former partner at Arthur Andersen who became the Comptroller General of the United States. He subsequently resigned over the “declining moral values” within the U.S. Government which, ironically, is who shut down Arthur Andersen for their accounting ethics.

Winner, Most Dramatic Career Change: Taria Reed, former Enron employee turned Playboy model. Taria’s acceptance speech: “It was personal for me, empowering (and) gave me a little bit of self-assuredness.” Taria gives new meaning to “getting back on your feet.”

Winner, Most Publicly Humiliating Rebound Job: Alberto Gonzales, former Bush Administration U.S. Attorney General, now the professor of a single political science course at Texas Tech University. Gonzales, the most powerful lawyer in the US, said he was “unable to interest law firms in adding his name to their roster.”

Winner, Biggest Loser: Rebecca Mark, former CEO of Enron International, now isolating on her Ranch in New Mexico. “Just say that I’m sitting out here watching the elk migrate across the mesa and raising my cattle.”

Winner of The Job We All Want: He’s only known as “John S.” and he says “I make a little less money, work less, have less work-related stress, great benefits and enjoy my work like never before.” Read more at Alison’s Job Searching Blog.

Do you know someone who should be nominated for our next round of awards?

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