“The man who reads nothing at all is better educated than the man who reads nothing but newspapers.” — Thomas Jefferson
You’ve seen the TV show. Throw a piece of meat overboard and the sharks attack. They don’t care what they’re eating: they just tear it to bits, thrashing violently until it’s gone. Nothing will distract them.
Sharks are smarter than the media: they leave when the meat is gone. Your former company is the dead meat, yet once it’s gone, the media hovers and postulates “Was there criminal activity? Did the company commit fraud? Will there be more?” It doesn’t matter if the same journalists heaped praise a year ago when your ex-employer was named a “Best Company to Work For.”
My heart sank when I saw my company’s name in the headlines, accompanied by a photo of our CEO looking uncomfortable – the media’s word for this is “guilty” – at a Congressional hearing. The pain was doubled when the story included statements about ridiculous bonuses, greed and corruption. If this happens to you, don’t take it personally. This is a standard paragraph that the press adds to stories about every failed company.
Here’s some breaking news: the media never, ever gets it right. They “get it” the way it makes a good story. In a recent article Philip Delves Broughton, a writer for Forbes says:
“It is simply beyond the resources and capabilities of most news organizations, and perhaps against their commercial interests, to offer more than commentary. They can, however, bring fresh oxygen to already burning fires.”
With that admission, I’m not sure what – or who – they’re good for.
On the bright side, new meat will come along and when that happens, you’ll be old news. Until then, here are some tricks to help survive the media with your dignity intact.
1. Go cold turkey. Stop reading the news. You’re going to have to change your habits: no sneaking peeks at the headlines at the corner news dispenser. No more thumbing through news magazines in the grocery checkout line. It will be a painful break at first but remember: don’t feed the enemy.
2. Go offline. Cancel your news feeds and online subscriptions. Following links can cause serious depression. Disable the Google text alerts that used to tell you when your former company made the news. And for God’s sake, stop adding anonymous contrarian comments on blogs that lambast your dead company. If you slip and do this, block yourself from the site so you can’t return to read the responses.
3. Dangle some flesh out there. The beauty of this approach is that the press can’t publish the photos. Former Enron employees left Houston “with all their worldly possessions.” (Warning: adult material, don’t open the link if you can’t take it for the joke that it is). If you’re really entrepreneurial, book a club, charge admission and don’t give out any freebie press passes.
4. Leave them speechless. Several overwhelmed Lehman Brothers ex-employees did exactly this with a show-stealing act in London.
5. Use parental controls. Limit yourself to children’s channels on TV. Turn off the 24 hour news, talk shows, business commentary and especially Saturday Night Live. Really.
Has the media been good to you during your corporate breakup? Did they show any empathy for the human tragedy, or do they continue gnaw and circle? Tell us about it.
Laurie Phillips writes for businesses, not against them. She is not a member of the press, never has been, and probably won’t ever be after this post. Get the real scoop at Sundance Research.
Circuit City's Mushroom Cloud | The Dead Company Club // Jun 9, 2009 at 12:22 pm
[...] not very sympathetic of the media. But newspapers are run by people and, although I don’t like what they do, their fates matter. The industry is already fighting to stay afloat, and now Circuit City’s [...]